How was your Xmas?

We decided to vacation in Florida for the holiday break, for some sun & warmth. For the first two days, my husband was still on a biz trip a short flight away. So it was just me and the kids.

I gave kids assignment when we arrived at the airport, to take care of a backpack and the carseat, respectively. They were excited about the trip and happy to get assignments and did well.

On the plane, I told them it's just me and them on the trip down, so I expect them to behave themselves. "You get what you get and you don't get upset." A very useful line I copied back from their preschool teacher.

I explained traveling can be frustrating, things can go wrong, and their job is learn to deal with that frustration. "You can talk about how you feel, think of solutions, rather than just sulk." (That's really for my son.)

My kids nodded.

Shortly after take off, there was a lot of turbulence, and my daughter said she felt like throwing up. I handed her a bag.

The flight was otherwise uneventful. And kids had fun reading, drawing, eating their lunch, and just playing with each other. (No screentime, yay!)

As we started to decent, my daughter felt her ears were getting painful. I gave her water to swallow and gum to chew.

"It doesn't help," she said sadly.

I hugged her close, "Almost there. Look outside the window."

There was a lot of wind while the plane tried to land. It looked like we were very close to the ground, but then the plane flew higher instead.

My kids were confused, "Why didn't we land?"

The captain explained that it was too windy, and they'll try again. In all my time of taking planes, that has never happened before. I was getting worried but said instead to the kids, "The captain is taking good care of us by being safe."

It was probably just a few minutes but felt much, much longer. When the plane finally landed, bumpy and all, we passengers broke out clapping.

I told the kids we did well, very well. :)

Happy holidays everyone!

My husband is traveling for work this week, so a bit quieter with just me and the kids.

As you may know I've been working on emotional management with my 10 year old son. Yeah, he still cries when he doesn't get what he wants, especially during dinner time, when he's probably tired from holding it together all day, or maybe it's the hangry time of the day.

His doctor told us during our appointment last week, that if he has tantrums at home and not at school, we need to look at how we're dealing with him. That there's probably a reward for him to continue such behavior. (E.g. by my husband negotiating with him, I was quick to point out, much to my husband's angry objection. ;-)

While picking up the kids, I asked my 7 year old daughter, "Do you think your brother will get upset today?"

"No. Hmm... I don't know."

Sure enough, at dinner, my son found out he will miss out on afterschool time with his friends due to a trip we planned with friends.

His eyes started turning red and his tone changed. My daughter and I glanced at each other, thinking, here we go again.

My son had some stronger words. "Well I'm not going. I can stay at home by myself. I don't want to miss hanging out with my friends; I don't care about those others. I can just eat cereal and walk to school myself."

I said "I know, it's very disappointing. We can talk about that when your dad gets back. " I punted.

"You'll be missing time with your family," my daughter pointed out. "Family is important too."

After a while my son continued eating and we had an uneventful dinner. We started talking about what we liked about our day.

My daughter said, "I'm happy that Brother calmed down faster today than before."

I was very impressed by her perceptiveness. "Yes, indeed. Good job noticing!"

I then praised my son for his better reaction. At bedtime he talked about how he's sad about missing time with his friends.

I didn't say a word. :)

Weekend Events

MADELINE'S CHRISTMAS

This holiday season will be unlike any other for everyone’s favorite Parisian: Madeline! While on their morning walk w...
Thursday 12/20, 6pm - Sun., Boston Children's Theatre

Space's 7th Annual Gingerbread Exhibition

Now in its seventh year, the Gingerbread Design Competition and Exhibition is a fun and tasty way to highlight the deli...
Friday, 10am - Sun., Boston Society of Architects/AIA BSA Foundation

The Emperor’s New Clothes

A New Musical for the Whole Family. The beloved story of The Emperor’s New Clothes comes to life on stage this holiday...
Friday, 11am - Sun., Loeb Drama Center, Cambridge

Cambridge Youth Dance Program Presents "What the Dickens!"

A contemporary dance twist on a holiday classic. WHAT THE DICKENS! is a great show for the family, both affordable ...
Friday, 7pm - Sun., CYDP Dance Company, Somerville

Matt Heaton's Holiday Hootenanny-ONCE

Matt Heaton’s Holiday Hootenanny is a dance-filled, laugh-laced CD release party for the whole family. With his band th...
Saturday, 10am , ONCE Ballroom, Somerville

Gingerbread House Workshop with Jennifer Lee (Family-Friendly & Allergy-Free!)

Making a gingerbread house for the holidays is one of our most loved traditions! Unfortunately when you have food aller...
Sunday, 10am, The KITCHEN at the Boston Public Market

Winter Solstice Walk: A Farewell to Fall

Solstice Celebration: A Farewell to Fall Meets at the Ranger Station, 250 Fresh Parkway (under the clock tower) …...
Sunday, 2:30pm, Fresh Pond Reservation, Cambridge

Last Weekend! Harvard Square Holiday Fairs

This is not your average craft fair - it's more like a party where you can buy stuff! The Harvard Square Holiday Fa...
Saturday 12/08, 10am - Sun., St. Paul's Church Hall, Cambridge

Last Weekend: ZooLights

ZooLights dazzles visitors of all ages each holiday season. Stroll along tree-lined paths lit by thousands of twinkling...
Friday 11/23, 5pm - Wed., Stone Zoo

Boston Ballet's The Nutcracker

Boston Ballet’s holiday classic The Nutcracker returns to the Boston Opera House stage this winter. Follow Clara as she...
Thursday 11/29, 7:30pm - 12/30, Boston Opera House

This Wednesday I had the pleasure of attending first our school's winter concert, and then Stories of Self at PAUS.

The kids had a wonderful concert. I even got to see my son playing the recorder that they've learned for the last 6 weeks.

I took way too many pics and vids as you can see. Just be warned about the cute overload with the kindergarteners at the end. ;-)

But what really blew me was the visit to PAUS our upper school. These kids are amazing, and so very resilient!

The 6th grade assignment was to write about a hardship they went through, and how that affected them. I heard about one kid whose father stopped being involved after she turned just 4. Another's family immigrated from war-torn Liberia. They talked about the difficulties they went through, their hurt and struggles, and how they came to find peace and hope for the future.

I also learned from another about first resisting then embracing the language of her immigrant family, and how it brought her closer to her grandma and their family history and culture.

The kids were well-spoken and a couple showed a great sense of humor. One told me about the time when she almost became FAMOUS. Another about how her brother finally got her to pay attention in school and learned math.

Call me very, very impressed. :)

Weekend Events

CRLS Dance Company Presents: Danceworks!

Come see the impressive Danceworks presented by CRLS Modern Dance Company. You can buy tickets online or, for cash, ...
Friday, 7pm - Sat., Fitzgerald Theatre, Cambridge Rindge & Latin School

Illuminations Trolley Tour

Come celebrate the folk artistry of residents who transform their houses and yards with lights, illuminated ornaments, ...
Saturday, 9:15am, 81 Highland Ave. , Somerville

Boston Breakfast with Santa

Brighten your season with an extra special holiday breakfast. Indulge your family in a holiday breakfast buffet, featur...
Saturday, 9:30am - Sun., Royal Sonesta Boston, Cambridge

Candy Land Play-A-Thon

Join Pitching in for Kids on Saturday December 15th at Faneuil Hall Marketplace for their14th Annual Candy Land event. ...
Saturday, 10am , Faneuil Hall Marketplace

CSCA Charity Bake Sale, Benefiting Community Cooks and Women's Lunch Place

Join us on December 15th from 10am - 2pm to buy holiday treats, gifts, and more to raise funds for two fantastic local ...
Saturday, 10am, 2020 Massachusetts Ave, Cambridge

DFD Presents: TRIFECTA | Dance Workshop for Charity

DFD Academy presents a one-day workshop series open to all! Get your friends together and come learn something new all ...
Saturday, 1pm , Rumba Y Timbal Dance Company, Cambridge

Kendall Square Holiday Ice Show

Join us on Saturday, December 15, for our 13th Annual Holiday on Ice celebration at Community Ice Skating @Kendall in C...
Saturday, 2pm, Community Ice Skating @Kendall

Family Hike at the Arnold Arboretum: Short Days/Long Nights

We will go out on a StoryWalk and look for Black-Capped Chickadees, the star of the wonderful book, The Longest Night. ...
Sunday, 2pm, Hunnewell Visitor Center

BYSO Free Concert

BYSO’s Intensive Community Program (ICP) celebrates its 20th anniversary this season. Celebrate this award-winning prog...
Sunday, 3pm, Faneuil Hall Marketplace

Cambridge Community Chorus Winter Concert

See MLK Mom Pam! Join the Chorus for an afternoon of uplifting music with an Italian flavor as Music Director Pamel...
Sunday, 4pm, Kresge Auditorium, MIT

Here's what you told me last time. Yeah, motherhood isn't easy. Personally, I'm surprised about the 9%! ;-)

Yesterday was my son's 10th birthday. We celebrated it with a party a couple of weeks before. He got gifts from family and friends and had a great time.

So by the time it was his real birthday, it was more chill. A friend was visiting so we booked dinner with him. I told my kids about the plan, but apparently my son didn't hear it (probably too busy reading a book.)

We picked up my son that evening and started driving to the dinner reservation.

"Wait, we're not going to my favorite restaurant?" He said.

"No, remember tonight we're going to meet my friend visiting from out of town? We can go tomorrow."

"Wahhh..." My son started bawling.

Confused, I said, "I'm sorry you're upset. We talked about it this morning?"

"Wahhh... I waited a whole year for this. And you didn't say anything. Wahhh... "

I asked my daughter and sure enough, she heard just fine.

Ever ready to solve the problem, my husband jumped into the action:

To my son, "Okay, what do you want."

And just to me, "Well, should I just take him to where he wants to go?"

Not a big fan of giving into tantrum, I said, "Maybe we should just let him cry it out?"

"Wahhh..." This went on for 5 minutes.

My husband tried again, "Now's the time to negotiate. Ask for what you want."

"Well mom's not gonna let me have what I want."

"Mom's not talking, you're talking to me."

They soon reached a deal: a toy, dinner tomorrow night, and ice-cream tonight.

My husband was happy he once again solved the problem. I was less sure, "I don't want to set a precedent for giving in."

"You think I'm being bad. " My son said.

"No." I said, putting my arm around him. "I know you're a good kid. You work hard. You're nice to your sister. You're a good friend."

"I'm proud of you. I just want you to make good decisions in life."

The dinner went without a hitch. Then my son asked to go home early as he was tired.

Ah, sleep-deprived tantrum, I thought to myself.

The next day, we picked the kids from school. "Where are we going?" My son asked.

"Your favorite restaurant, remember?"

"Oh." He didn't sound so excited. "I'm sorry about last night."

I felt proud of him. :)

Weekend Events

Kids Only Holiday Sale

Our annual Kids Only! Holiday Sale is hosted in early/mid December. School-age children are invited to purchase gifts ...
Thursday 12/06, 3pm - Sat., Agassiz Baldwin Community

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Back by popular demand! Again this December, The Post-Meridian Radio Players will be presenting our original adaptation...
Friday, 8pm - Sat., Unity Somerville

Girls Innovation Research Lab - Scratch Programming & Intro to Circuits (Free Event!)

For older kids. This workshop will introduce middle school students to electronics and programming by letting students ...
Saturday, 9am , MIT Lincoln Laboratory Beaver Works

Union Square Holiday Pop-Up Market

We're back for the 5th Annual Holiday Pop-Up Market - right in the heart of Union Square at Warehouse XI. Join us fo...
Saturday, 10am - Sun., Warehouse XI, Somerville

Kids' Creative Culinary Class, Holiday Edition

Delicious meets adorable in this fun, hands-on class, holiday decorating classes. This year, spark your children’s c...
Saturday, 10am , Royal Sonesta Boston, Cambridge

Cambridge Holiday Market

The Cambridge Holiday Market will showcase an eclectic mix of 70 local vendors for your holiday shopping adventure. Fea...
Saturday, 11am , Saint Paul AME Church, Cambridge

Cambridge Symphony Orchestra's Holiday Pops

Join us for the CSO’s festive tradition of presenting seasonal and Broadway favorites (featuring Javier Ortiz, bass-bar...
Saturday, 7pm, Center for Arts at the Armory, Somerville

Flour's 9th Annual Cookie Swap

For the past 8 years, Flour Bakery has hosted a Cookie Swap during the month of December where people from the communit...
Sunday, 3pm, Flour Bakery Cambridgeport, Cambridge

Kendall Square Holiday Ice Show

Join us on Saturday, December 15, for our 13th Annual Holiday on Ice celebration at Community Ice Skating @Kendall in C...
Saturday 12/15, 2pm, Community Ice Skating @Kendall

Cambridge Community Chorus Winter Concert

See MLK Mom Pam! Join the Chorus for an afternoon of uplifting music with an Italian flavor as Music Director Pamel...
Sunday 12/16, 4pm, Kresge Auditorium, MIT

Cambridge Youth Dance Program Presents "What the Dickens!"

A contemporary dance twist on a holiday classic. WHAT THE DICKENS! is a great show for the family, both affordable ...
Friday 12/14, 7pm - 12/23, CYDP Dance Company, Somerville

How was your Thanksgiving?

We had a very nice time with the inlaws, complete with our annual tradition of a fried turkey. :) Kudos to my husband and my father-in-law for braving the extra cold weather to fry the bird outdoors. The kids and their cousins played, while us adults planned a family get-together in January, and everyone ate a bit too much. :)

We then went skiing at Wachusetts. It was in the 20s, with lots of snowmaking, and nobody on the trails. Our kids had a blast, especially my daughter, who after falling a few of times (with me, without me, making me fall only) finally mastered the chairlift! The key is to sit on the inside so more time to get settled.

We then dropped the kids with grandparents so we could have a date night and watched the excellent movie Widows. I will not spoil it for you by saying anymore, except that it feels very culturally current.

We had saw 4 sets of friends over the long weekend, with kids and without. I ping friends or they pinged me, and we spontaneously got together. Our kids will pick playing with friends over just about anything. :) Hmm, guess where they got that from. ;-)

Most importantly, both my husband and I slept a lot, until 8 or 9 on some days.

At the end of the weekend on Sunday, while my husband is busy watching football, I mentioned to him I feel very relaxed and content. I thought my husband is wonderful and our kids are wonderful, and life is pretty good. :)

It's a rare feeling as a busy parent. I'm not sure if it's the time to relax, being with family and friends, or sleeping more, or maybe all the above. But I could sure use more long weekends like this. ;-)

Weekend Events

Boston Common Tree Lighting & Figure Skating Ice Show

Join The Skating Club of Boston at The Boston Common Frog Pond for a FREE figure skating ice show with national and int...
Thursday, 5pm, Boston Common Frog Pond

A Charlie Brown Christmas Live

A Charlie Brown Christmas Live on Stage will bring holiday cheer to Boston with a limited engagement at the Boch Center...
Thursday, 7pm - Sun., Shubert Theatre

Boston Ballet's The Nutcracker 2018 Opening Weekend

Boston Ballet’s holiday classic The Nutcracker returns to the Boston Opera House stage this winter. Follow Clara as she...
Thursday, 7:30pm, Boston Opera House

First Class Weekends at Loon Ski and Snowboard

MLK mom Diane teaches skiing here! Ever think about learning to ski or snowboard? Skiing and riding are wonderful way...
Saturday, 8am - Sun., 60 Loon Mountain Rd., Lincoln, NH 03251

Anime Boston Day

Join us as the Museum hosts a one-of-a-kind event celebrating anime, the popular style of Japanese animation that inclu...
Saturday, 9am, Museum of Science, Boston

Deck the Hall Holiday Stroll

Enjoy refreshments, treats, and special sales while strolling the Marketplace. Refreshments will be served from 2pm - 5...
Saturday, 10am - Sun., Faneuil Hall Marketplace

Holly-Day on the Harbor!

This holiday season Atlantic Wharf will be hosting our 4th Annual FREE “Holly-Day on the Harbor” on Saturday, December ...
Saturday, 12pm , Atlantic Wharf, Boston

Mayor Walsh's Enchanted Trolley Tour

For the 23rd year, the Mayor's Enchanted Trolley Tour will continue the festive tradition of lighting holiday trees whi...
Saturday, 2:30pm, Cross Street and Hanover Street, North End

PJ Library Celebrates Chanukah with Vanessa Trien

Back by popular demand, Vanessa Trien treats us to a festive holiday concert. Celebrate the warm light of Chanukah by b...
Saturday, 4pm , Fayerweather Street School, Cambridge

Hanukkah: The Festival of Lights

Enjoy an evening of art, music, and activities celebrating Hanukkah: The Festival of Lights. Join us for a for an eveni...
Wednesday, 4:30pm, Museum of Fine Arts, Boston

Harvard Square Holiday Fairs

This is not your average craft fair - it's more like a party where you can buy stuff! The Harvard Square Holiday Fa...
Saturday 12/08, 10am - 12/23, St. Paul's Church Hall, Cambridge

Howdy,

Those of you who know me know that cleanliness is not one of my virtues. ;-) Recently though, even I'm starting to get embarrassed at the state of our house. It's just hard with kids and work. :(

Even my husband started asking me, "Uh, what is this, and that?"

Well, that's the piles of books and toys my daughter left around, the clothes I'm trying to give away to Goodwill, vs. the clothes I want to return, vs. the toys I want to give to my friend's child, and well, a few mystery bags that I have no idea. :-D

I tried to do some research on decluttering, and watched with kids video on Marie Kondo the decluttering guru's method.

What she mentioned about keeping only what spark joy worked for me and the kids. We made piles for "spark joy" and "give away." My son brought down a bag of clothes that he's ready to say "thank you for your service" to.

It was easier for the kids than for me. There's a pile of books that don't spark joy for kids but I'm just not ready to let go yet, including some we've not read together. I told the kids maybe we can read once, and that'll help me let go. :) Also some artwork I want to take picture before recycling.

We've made some progress, see below. ;-) Our kids were also overjoyed to find a long-lost stuffed animal and the missing piece of the Catan board.

I found it tedious work to document what I'm giving away, so I came up with a new scheme. Get the kids to document for me in a Google Sheet, where I pay them 5% of the donation. Here's my son folding a shirt happily and saying: "5 shirts now, Ka-ching!" He checks every item to see how much he's earned, and was happy he beat his sister on total earning. ;-)

Poll: What are your plans for celebrating Thanksgiving? My plan? Maybe some more decluttering. ;-)

Weekend Events

Gobble Gobble Gobble Thanksgiving Race

The race is open to runners, joggers and stroller families of all ages and abilities (but no dogs, please)! All proceed...
Thursday, 9am, Davis Square, Somerville

MIT Annual Friday After Thanksgiving (F.A.T.) Chain Reaction

Whether it's the reaction induced between two creative contraptions or the joyful reactions sparked on the faces of spe...
Friday, 1pm, Rockwell Cage (MIT), Cambridge

A Christmas Carol

Our own version of Charles Dickens’ tale of the miserly Ebenezer Scrooge returns! Join us as we venture into Victorian ...
Friday, 2pm - Sun., Central Square Theater, Cambridge

ZooLights Opening Weekend

ZooLights dazzles visitors of all ages each holiday season. Stroll along tree-lined paths lit by thousands of twinkling...
Friday, 5pm , Stone Zoo

27th Annual Somerville Craft Fair

FREE ADMISSION ! This is the 27th year of our high school craft fair, with free admission, over 100 crafters and a snac...
Saturday, 9am, 91 Highland Ave, Somerville

Etsy Makers at Bow Market

Shop small and shop local! Join the shops at Bow Market plus a team of local Etsy artists for Small Business Saturday (...
Saturday, 9am, Bow Market, Somerville

Sock Skating

Sock Skating Opens November 24 and is included with Museum admission.
Saturday, 10am, Boston Children’s Museum

Opening Day Ice Skating at Kendall Square & Holiday Ice Show

On Saturday November 24, Ice Skating @Kendall will be open for our first day of skating . Join us on Saturday, Dece...
Saturday, 11am, Community Ice Skating @Kendall

Annual Tree Lighting Celebration in Charles Square

Save the date for our Annual Tree Lighting presented by The Charles Hotel & Henrietta's Table and in partnership with t...
Saturday, 2pm , The Charles Hotel, Cambridge

Boston Tuba Christmas

Join the fun and watch as over 150 tuba players serenade the crowd with everyone’s favorite holiday classics in the Wes...
Saturday, 2pm, Faneuil Hall Marketplace

No Frills Dumplings Cooking Class

It can be intimidating to participate in a cooking class, particularly if you are learning a technique that is unfamili...
Sunday, 11:30am, 85 Windsor Street, Cambridge

Boston Common Tree Lighting & Figure Skating Ice Show

Join The Skating Club of Boston at The Boston Common Frog Pond for a FREE figure skating ice show with national and int...
Thursday 11/29, 5pm, Boston Common Frog Pond

Hope you had a good Veterans Day Weekend, whether or not you had the day off.

We were driving back from visiting our good friends in New Jersey, and passing through New York. I asked my husband if he wanted me to drive. "No way, not after what happened the last time you drove in New York."

Indeed, I'm not a great driver, while my husband loves to drive, so he does bulk of the driving at our house. On top of that, I have the worst memory. So he had to remind me of our big adventure in New York last time.

It was a cold and dreary Sunday in February. I was driving the family down the FDR Drive in upper Manhattan when there's a giant pothole in the road.

Not the most confident driver, plus I saw a car to the left, so I felt the safest route was to go over the pothole and hope for the best. BAD, BAD idea! We heard a loud BOOM and our car immediately signaled low tire pressure. I pulled over, where there was already a burgundy car pulled over.

A tow truck soon came, with a driver that spoke only Spanish. We couldn't really communicate, but were grateful to get help.

He towed us to a closed tire shop nearby, with a few guys in the front, who spoke only a bit of English. They efficiently set to work to check what's wrong with the car. We found that this pothole's been great business. The night before, 27 people have hit the same pothole.

The burgundy car we saw was towed to the same spot after us, and quickly got its tire patched. Unlucky for us, we had a cracked rim so the friendly tire guys told us sorry this is beyond them. We started frantically calling around.

It was Sunday, with most tire shops closed, and a couple of open ones told us we need to come in. "You don't understand, we don't have a wheel to drive over!" It was pretty frustrating.

Meanwhile, our kids took it as an adventure and weren't at all worried. Hmm... how much do you involve kids in problems the family's facing?

Finally, one of the owner of a tire shop in Bronx answered. He said he doesn't have the wheel but will come over and help us. Really??

Sure enough, he drove over in 10 minutes. He was confident and gregarious, surveyed what's going on, and told us he can drive my husband to shop for a rim, or drive all of us.

"Your wife and kids will be safe with these guys here." He was trying to be alleviate our concerns but it had the opposite effect. We all decided to pile into his SUV to go rim shopping.

On the drive over, he told us that he's originally from the Dominican Republic. One time while visiting there, he got into a bad accident in a poor part of the country, and couldn't even move. He said the locals could've robbed him, instead, they took care of him and got him help.

He drove us around Bronx to a couple of shops before finally finding a rim that fits, and got us a pair of tires. In two hours we were all patched up and ready to go. My husband had to actually convince the guy to take a bit more payment.

What a crazy adventure we had, and how lucky were we to run into someone so kind hearted and helpful!

I told the kids we need to pay forward. :)

Weekend Events

O'Neill Coding Club

Whether you are a complete beginner, or an advanced coder, kids ages 8-14 can drop in to play around on various coding ...
Friday, 3:30pm , O'Neill Library, Cambridge

Date Night: Lampfest 2018!

Lamplighter is turning two! It’s been a wild few years, and we're celebrating the only way we know how - with a BIG PAR...
Friday, 5pm - Sat., Lamplighter Brewing Co., Cambridge

Boston International Kids Film Festival

The Boston International Kids Film Festival offers films made FOR kids and BY kids. From professionally made feature-le...
Friday, 7pm - Sun., Somerville Theatre

Somerville Road Runners Inaugural Community Day

Free event! Wellness/running/fitness workshops. Fun run and kids activities. Presentation from World Marathon Challenge...
Saturday, 9am , East Somerville Communtiy School, 50 Cross Street, Somerville

Yale vs. Harvard Football at Fenway Park

The 135th rendition of Harvard and Yale's football rivalry will be played in front of the "Green Monster" at the home o...
Saturday, 12pm , Fenway Park, Boston

Museum of Science's Newest Exhibit Opens: All Aboard! Trains at Science Park

The Museum’s newest temporary exhibit, All Aboard! Trains at Science Park, invites you to experience a classic winter l...
Sunday, 9am, Museum of Fine Arts, Boston

BKBX Adventure Free Workout & Brunch

Want to check out the soon-to-open adventure gym in Allston before anyone else? The team behind the gym (the same compa...
Sunday, 9:30am, 219 Western Ave, Boston

Fantastic Beasts Scavenger Hunt

Are you a magizoologist in the making? Put on your best robes and celebrate the upcoming film Fantastic Beasts: The Cri...
Sunday, 1pm , Peabody Museum of Archaeology & Ethnology, Cambridge

Family Hike at Arnold Arboretum

Join an Arboretum staff member to discover the Arboretum on guided hikes for families. Come find new discoveries am...
Sunday, 2pm, 125 Arborway, Boston

Gobble Gobble Gobble Thanksgiving Race

The race is open to runners, joggers and stroller families of all ages and abilities (but no dogs, please)! All proceed...
Thursday, 9am, Davis Square, Somerville

Boston Tuba Christmas

Join the fun and watch as over 150 tuba players serenade the crowd with everyone’s favorite holiday classics in the Wes...
Saturday 11/24, 2pm, Faneuil Hall Marketplace

Howdy,

Sounds like many of you decided to bring your kids to voting, like us. :)

We went as a family after picking up the kids from school. My son asked me how I wanted to vote, and colored in the circles for me.

He had heard about Ballot Question 1 and told me to vote No, because he heard that it's "bad for patients."

He was disappointed that I didn't vote No. I tried to explain to him that you may see commercials by different advocacy groups, but the truth might be more complicated.

I read there are nurses for it and nurses against it, and it was confusing enough that I decided to leave the question blank.

Still, I felt happy my son was paying attention to what's going on in the world.

We then watching Election night coverage together.

My daughter saw the picture below and and exclaimed, "Wait, that's not right. Animals can't vote." I explained to her Donkey stands for Democrats and Elephant Republicans.

"Oh, so we want the Donkey to win." She got it. :) I explained similarly about the red vs. blue.

Credit: https://fivethirtyeight.com/live-blog/2018-election-results-coverage/

We watched the live coverage on CNN where they show map colored red or blue depending on the winners. My daughter noticed: "Wow, that's a lot of red!"

She went to bed happy that Ayanna Pressley won, who we were cheering on during the primary.

How did your election night go? Let me know. :)

Weekend Events

Opening Weekend: The Polar Express 4-D Experience

Go on an extraordinary 4-D adventure this holiday season on THE POLAR EXPRESS! When a doubting young boy takes an extra...
Friday, 10:20am , Museum of Science

A Sailor’s Life & Legacy

Celebrate and honor our nation’s veterans at the USS Constitution Museum by asking yourself, “Is a sailor’s life for me...
Saturday, 9am - Sun., USS Constitution Museum

Free Children's Art Discovery Classes

The Guild of Boston Artists is proud to hold Free Children's Art Discovery Classes to provide a fun and educational opp...
Saturday, 10:30am, The Guild of Boston Artists, Boston

Family Day at MassArt

Family Day is free and open to all. Visitors of all ages are invited to Family Day. Drop in for interactive activities ...
Saturday, 11am , Design & Media Center at MassArt

Fenway Open Studios

This event provides a rare opportunity to meet and talk with artists as well as to see the inside of this National Hist...
Saturday, 11am - Sun., Fenway Studios, Boston

Veterans Day Cruise to Georges Island

Honor veterans and active military with a special cruise highlighting the military history of the Boston Harbor Islands...
Saturday, 11am , Boston Harbor

CRLS presents HONK! The Musical - Last weekend

This year’s fall musical at CRLS is Honk!, an adaptation of Hans Christian Andersen’s The Ugly Duckling. Directed by Mi...
Friday 11/02, 7pm - Sat., Fitzgerald Theatre, CRLS Arts Building, 459 Broadway, Cambridge

Kaiju Time For Kids

Welcome to Kids Party with Kaiju! The show features lots of interactions with Kaiju. We have meet and greet before the...
Sunday, 12pm , ONCE Somerville

Cambridge Symphony Orchestra presents "West Side Story: In Concert"

The Cambridge Symphony Orchestra joins forces with dynamic soloists Carelle Flores (Maria), Javier Abreu (Tony), and Ra...
Sunday, 4pm, Kresge Auditorium at MIT

Last Sunday! Memorial Drive Sunday Blocked Off for Biking

Memorial Drive in Cambridge between Western Avenue and Mount Auburn Street is blocked on Sundays from 11:00am to 7:00pm...
Sunday 4/29, 11am - Sun., Cambridge

Boston International Kids Film Festival

The Boston International Kids Film Festival offers films made FOR kids and BY kids. From professionally made feature-le...
Friday 11/16, 7pm - 11/18, Somerville Theatre

Hope everyone had a great Halloween!

We went trick-or-treat with both my son and my daughter's friends just in our neighborhood. Yep that's my kid refusing to wear a costume, while his classmates had fun with theirs. I think one year my son wore an itchy dinosaur costume that might have traumatized him. ;-)

Speaking of dinosaurs... I have to give it to this parent right here. What sacrifice! ;-)

It's always nice to see some families working hard to make it fun for the kids. :)

It was really nice for a friend to invite a few families over for some pizza and food. We were rested, fed, and ready to head out.

I noticed some refinement of strategy for trick-or-treating this year. My husband identified side streets in Cambridgeport as good places to go to, especially Cottage and a few nearby streets. Rather than quantity, my kids went for quality: mostly Kitkat and other chocolate candies. They also got a few Almond Joy for daddy and Whoppers for mommy. Very sweet of them. :)

And one of the more popular stops doesn't offer any candy. Instead, they offered adult beverages: red, white, or whisky. I'm glad someone's thinking of the parents. :)

Due to the cooperative weather, a lot of folks were sitting outside giving out candy. And we saw more families than usual.

Along the way I ran into a number of families we knew, from our school or nearby schools, some friends of my kids from their preschools, and even some dressed up Cambridge Police I interviewed once. :) It really felt like a community.

My kids told me at bedtime that what they liked the most this Halloween was hanging out with friends. NOT candy! I couldn't agree more. :)

New Poll: How do you feel about Halloween?

Weekend Events

LLUMINUS Light Festival in Downtown Boston

ILLUMINUS is a nighttime festival where Boston’s artists, designers, performers, and creative technologists converge to...
Friday, 5pm - Sat., Dowtown Crossing, Boston

CRLS presents HONK! The Musical - 1st weekend

This year’s fall musical at CRLS is Honk!, an adaptation of Hans Christian Andersen’s The Ugly Duckling. Directed by Mi...
Friday, 7pm - Sat., Fitzgerald Theatre, CRLS Arts Building, 459 Broadway, Cambridge

22nd Annual Family Literacy Fun Day

Join us at Family Literacy Fun Day! Children’s Activities! Free books! Bonaparte the Magician! (Shows at 1:00 and 2:00 ...
Saturday, 10:30am , Cambridge City Hall

Girls Day at MIT Museum

The MIT Museum celebrates women in the science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM) fields. Visitors can expect to...
Saturday, 11am , MIT Museum

Pumpkin Smash!

Compost your Halloween pumpkins with Greenovate Boston. After Halloween passes, what do you plan to do with your hol...
Saturday, 11am , Mattapan Evocation Center, Boston

Día de los Muertos Celebración Familiar / Day of the Dead Family Celebration

Live music, Oaxacan wood carving, and festive decorations help to make this a joyful event designed to remember and wel...
Saturday, 12pm , Peabody Museum of Archaeology & Ethnology, Cambridge

Thai Festival 2018 in Boston: Amazing Thailand

Come join Thai merchants and restaurateurs in a famers style market and enjoy live performances on stage.
Sunday, 11am , Harvard Square, Cambridge

Jack O' Lantern Journey

Opening weekend of Jack O' Lantern Journey. Come see thousands of hand-carved Jack O’ Lanterns creatively displayed in ...
Thursday 10/18, 6:00pm - Sun., Franklin Park Zoo

Opening Weekend: The Polar Express 4-D Experience

Go on an extraordinary 4-D adventure this holiday season on THE POLAR EXPRESS! When a doubting young boy takes an extra...
Friday, 10:20am , Museum of Science

Memorial Drive Sunday Blocked Off for Biking

Memorial Drive in Cambridge between Western Avenue and Mount Auburn Street is blocked on Sundays from 11:00am to 7:00pm...
Sunday 4/29, 11am - 11/11, Cambridge

Last week, I asked about arguing with the spouse.

Interestingly enough, while it was one of the more popular newsletters, the poll turned out to be the least popular with only a handful people filling it out. Half said they don't argue much, and gave great advice. Still I wonder if there might be a silent majority out there. ;-)

I really appreciate the great tips folks gave. Thought I'll take the time to share, and have made all the comments anonymous.

I appreciated this one about being oldest or youngest child -- I can definitely relate to that bossiness of the oldest. ;-)

• "My husband comes from a conflict avoidant family. He’s also the youngest. It’s easy for him to just go with the flow. The difficulty for me has been learning how to be mindful of his needs when he won’t advocate for himself. My prior husband ran over the top of me, and I put up with it for the sake of peace until I couldn’t take it anymore, and I left him. I really don’t want that shoe on the other foot! So I try to always remember how much I hated being bossed around, so that I’m mindful of what my husband needs while I’m doing the oldest child leadership thing."

This one also has a good point. A lot of it isn't how we are individually but the weight of juggling work and life, including kids!

• Older and wiser after 20 years of marriage. We try to be cooperative in household management and parenting. Also I don't mind working part time and taking on more household chores. This arrangement reduces quite a lot stress that comes with juggling work and life.

This one is very wise. :)

• After 15 years of marriage we've learned some key things that have helped us. The first is that there is a difference between constructive conflict and destructive conflict within communication, constructive being the good kind and destructive being the bad kind (as in it only helps to destroy the relationship between the two individuals). Conflict is a part of gaining understanding of any issue or idea when other views or opinions may oppose our own. In other words it is the ideas that are conflicting, not the people, which is important to remember. We can and should respect both the feelings and opinions of others. The second point is that the stress levels involved in discourse once elevated beyond a certain level become unproductive. It may be important to agree before hand on when and how to put a conversation or argument on hold until everyone cools down a bit. Not easy, but basic anger management 101 and very important for kids to learn how to do this.

Lastly, we all know that children learn both good and bad ways of communicating from us parents and those around them and that they will unknowingly repeat / mirror what they see creating habits good and bad. So it's important that we realize we're teaching at all times whether we want to be or not (basic again, but not easy when in the middle of a disagreement).

Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella gave one book to every individual at Microsoft after being appointed CEO. The book is titled 'Nonviolent Communication A Language of Life." It deals with all of this and more, and is a worthwhile read for anyone. Link below (check the reviews out):

https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X

Thank you! I've very humbled by your sharing. And that book is one I really love. I can talk more about that another time if you'd like.

Speaking of how children learn form us... I've been talking to my son about the need to explain anger instead of expressing it (usually for him in the form of walking around the house being SILENTLY UPSET.)

You know how sometime you talk to your kids, and you think or hope they got it, but honestly have just no idea? :)

Well, apparently my 4th grader was totally listening! Look at this nice note he wrote (in cursive no less) when he was upset with daddy about something.

"If parents act strictly it wont' solve the problem. From the Talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk [the book] and mom's emails it said that punishment & rewards and the so-called "fear tactic" will not persuade the child to fix what is wrong.

Also, I can feel like a slave when I have to do something, because [he means and] some things kids never get to try (unless it's unsafe?)."

Weekend Events

Boston Costume Dash 5K

Throw on your best costume and join thousands of runners at the 4th Annual Boston Costume Dash 5K on Saturday, October ...
Saturday, 9am, Copley Square

Tricks and Treats at the Waterworks: A Spooky Science Carnival

Learn the science behind some mind-blowing magic tricks and spooky effects while collecting candy! The friendly ghos...
Saturday, 11am , Metropolitan Waterworks Museum, Boston

Pumpkin Palooza

Tons of Halloween fun for all ages has made this event an annual favorite! Pumpkin patch, pumpkin carving stations, lit...
Saturday, 12pm - Sun., Lawn on D, Boston

8th Annual Dia de los Muertos Block Party at Taza Chocolate!

Calling all Calaveras and friends!!! It's time to join us at the factory store for our favorite party of the year!! We ...
Saturday, 12pm , Taza Chocolate, Somerville

Hey, Boo! Halloween Fest!

Coop Trick or Treat Trail for ALL ages. Costumes are encouraged (and so much fun!), but not required! @harvardsquare...
Saturday, 1pm , Harvard Coop

Boo Market – Halloween Treasure Hunt

Bow Market and Make & Mend present Boo Market – a Halloween Treasure Hunt for Kids! Bring your kiddos in costume for...
Sunday, 11am , Bow Market, Somerville

Pru Boo Trick-or-Treat for Charity

Join us for a spooktacular day of fun the Sunday before Halloween! Parents, bring your children to trick-or-treat at ov...
Sunday, 11am , Prudential Center Boston

Halloween Happenings at CambridgeSide

Trick or Treat at CambridgeSide is free and open to the public. Children and accompanying adults can visit the Happy...
Tuesday, 4pm , CambridgeSide

Jack O' Lantern Journey

Opening weekend of Jack O' Lantern Journey. Come see thousands of hand-carved Jack O’ Lanterns creatively displayed in ...
Thursday 10/18, 6:00pm - 11/04, Franklin Park Zoo

Memorial Drive Sunday Blocked Off for Biking

Memorial Drive in Cambridge between Western Avenue and Mount Auburn Street is blocked on Sundays from 11:00am to 7:00pm...
Sunday 4/29, 11am - 11/11, Cambridge

I asked last week about how you handle feelings that may come up during parenting. Looks like about 1/4 of the parents feel they are handling it well most of the time, and rest of us are all working on it.

I got more comments on this topic than ever! :)
Jaclyn: "just like my parents did for me - we feed those negative feelings with candy and chocolate to try and make them go away. we'll pay for therapy later."

Danielle: "We never try to fix negative feelings. They are there for a reason. We make sure to experience them and then talk about what helped them feel better"

Mary: "My kids would do the same. I always thought it was a personality trait but slowing realizing that it wasn't just my child. I wonder if it might instead have to do with being the first born?! They say how the order in the family affects one's personality and that first-borns usually have stronger personalities- not wanting to be a follower or the neglected one. It took me a while, as a single child growing up, to understanding that something that I see as so insignificant would upset my child and create all the ugly negative feeling that comes along(tantrums, nagging, and jealousy). "

Ha, speaking of birth order, My husband and I are both firstborns. We're both pretty strong-willed and competitive, and don't like to back down. Hey that got us thru grad school and some career achievements.

Unfortunately, what that also means is as a couple, we can often get into debates over, well, stupid little things. The other day we got into one about whether a job should be considered an alliance manager. (Yep, I told you it's stupid. :) After I cooled down, I wonder why it mattered to me at all what it's called.

Randomly I came across this article about a Christian wife submitting to husband that at first repelled me, and then utterly fascinated me. Something it said struck a cord with me:

I spent nearly the first decade of my own marriage "fighting for my rights" with my husband. I criticized him and bossed him around... I made a practice of letting him know his failings on a regular basis, expecting his behavior to change. My methods made him feel defensive, and damaged our relationship.

No I'm not Christian. Yet I can also see my methods aren't helpful with my husband. Can't argue with reality... I decided a new experiment is in order.

Well, I've tried not arguing back for a week now, and it has been a very interesting experience. :) A few things I learned:

• I had no idea how often I challenge my husband. Really a few times a day. Just noticing the frequency has been eye opening. :)
• Paying attention to that, it does get easier to not argue back. Like anything else, it's a behavior change, and you can get used to it.
• Now and then I'd argue back a bit, then realize it's not worth it and stop myself. And that stops the escalation: my husband doesn't keep pushing if I just drop it.

I soon realize holding back's made things more peaceful at home. I wouldn't walk around with bad energy after some arguing and release that energy later. ;-) And vice versa.

• Also more than the words that cause strife, it's about what goes through my mind, this need to prove I'm right.
• A couple of times now, I decided there's a reason I need to go with my original proposal, and I'll just explain my reason, without the need to prove right. It usually works well: My husband hears my reason and let it be. He can sense I'm not arguing for the sake of winning or bettering him. I'm also calmer and more able to provide the bigger context, that really things can go either way.

So yeah, I learned you can affect a lot of change in the hubby just by changing self. I haven't told my husband about my plan at all and I'm not sure if he consciously noticed anything. But we argue less, there's less of that negative energy, and more positive one. ;-)

Poll: How often do you argue back with your spouse?

Weekend Events

Animation Show of Shows

Free, but seating is limited. Sixteen exceptional and inspiring animated shorts from around the world, recommended for ...
Friday, 12:30pm, Harvard Art Museums

Frog Pond Pumpkin Float

Bring the entire family to the 5th Annual Pumpkin Float at Frog Pond featuring floating pumpkins, luminaries and fun fa...
Friday, 5pm, Boston Common Frog Pond

Date Night: Prom Do-Over

Welcome to Prom Do-Over, featuring Boston’s own Future Teens playing hits from 2004-2008, plus a mystery DJ spinning tu...
Friday, 8pm, ONCE Somerville

54th Head Of The Charles Regatta

Join us for the 54th Head Of The Charles Regatta!
Saturday, 7:45am - Sun., 2 Gerrys Landing Rd, Cambridge

WORLD’S LARGEST HUMAN PEACE SIGN

Join thousands from across the Commonwealth in support of Children’s Services of Roxbury (CSR) as we look to establish ...
Saturday, 10am, Boston Common

Halloween Costume Swap

Go Green this Halloween at the Cambridge Halloween Costume Swap! Bring your complete, gently worn costumes and look for...
Saturday, 10am, Cambridge Community Center

Family Day: Infinite Present Revelations from Islamic Design in Contemporary Art

Make a clay mosaic and take a guided tour of the exhibition. Tours of the exhibition paired with an art activity that ...
Saturday, 10am, Gallery 344

22nd Annual A Cappella Competition

Over 40 of the best A Capella groups in New England will dual it out at the West End of the Marketplace as they enterta...
Saturday, 11am - Sun., Faneuil Hall Marketplace

Jamaica Pond Lantern Parade

Each year approximately 4,000 people arrive at Jamaica Pond on each of two evenings at sunset with their lanterns; many...
Saturday, 6:30pm - Sun., Jamaica Pond

Porter Square’s Target Opening Day

Target plans to give its first 1,000 visitors after 8 a.m. that Sunday free reusable bags and hosts family activities f...
Sunday, 8am, Porter Square

Boston Costume Dash 5K

Throw on your best costume and join thousands of runners at the 4th Annual Boston Costume Dash 5K on Saturday, October ...
Saturday 10/27, 9am, Copley Square

Jack O' Lantern Journey

Opening weekend of Jack O' Lantern Journey. Come see thousands of hand-carved Jack O’ Lanterns creatively displayed in ...
Thursday, 6:00pm - 11/04, Franklin Park Zoo

We had another nice moms' night. Sorry the poll on that last time didn't quite work. Feel free to email me back instead.

I also heard some feedback on the idea of a dads' night. One mom said, yeah, the guys need it more. Another told her husband about coming to our moms' night and suggested he might want to go to a dads' night. And her husband said "Yeah, by myself!"

Remember our blog on talking to spouse? Something about many guys don't feel the need for connecting, even if the wives think otherwise. ;-) Could be for a longer convo another time.

So I'm still working on accepting feelings with my son. He had a few good days. Then as usual, life gives us new challenges.

My husband decided to get the kids an ice-cream to share, and asked kids what flavor.

My daughter said to her older brother, "You always pick the flavor. This time I want raspberry."

"Okay, raspberry it is, " my husband said.

Immediately, my son's face turned upset.

"Or maybe one of each?" my husband hesitated.

"No need, it's fair for the girl to pick this time," I said, thinking it's good for kids to learn to take turns.

On the drive back home, my son was UPSET and refused his share of the raspberry ice-cream.

Trying not to give him too much attention for his tantrum, as we talked about, we tried to ignore it. I praised my daughter for speaking up this time and being assertive.

Uh-oh, that hit a nerve. My son start kicking the back of chair in front of him, unfortunately for my husband, his chair.

Visibly upset, my husband said to me. "This is on you! You fix it."

I bit back the urge to say "What?!" and said instead, "Sorry hon. Not sure if I can."

Later on my son told me that when he's already upset "you can see from my face", he'd like us to be nicer to him. At first he was only upset with his sister and father, but when I praised his sister, he felt we were all against him.

O boy, heavy stuff. His hard feelings of anger covered up soft feelings of being alone. I think I was supposed to accept and encourage his soft feelings, help him put into words rather than just expressing the harder feelings of anger, while upholding fairness.

I could only manage, "Hmm..."

This emotion stuff is hard! My husband and I both grew up with immigrant parents, who while loving, never asked us how we felt or talk about feelings.

We both studied in science and engineering, where logic reigns.

Later, I talked to my husband about how when my son was having a tantrum, and he asked me to fix it, that maybe we were both feeling frustrated and maybe powerless. And it makes us want a quick fix, so we don't have to deal with those uncomfortable feelings.

"Hmm..." My husband said.

I was reminded of a saying about how parenting often makes you face your own shortcomings. So true. :)

New poll: How comfortable are you at handling emotions that come up during parenting?

Weekend Events

Tenth Annual Boston Book Festival

Join us in Copley Square for the tenth annual Boston Book Festival! More than 75 separate events feature nearly 300 pre...
Saturday, 10am, Copley Square

2nd Annual Volpe Block Party at Ahern Field

This year the annual family friendly event is being held at Ahern Field in East Cambridge from 11am- 3pm Join your n...
Saturday, 11am, John A Ahern Field, Cambridge

Parents' Date: No Frills Dumplings

Go on a cooking class date! It can be intimidating to participate in a cooking class, particularly if you are learning ...
Saturday, 11:30am, 85 Windsor Street, Cambridge

Fall Festival at Christopher Columbus Park

Bring the kids out to the park for an afternoon of games, entertainment, and crafts to celebrate Fall! Ever see a pa...
Saturday, 12pm, Christopher Columbus Park, Boston

Central Square Food Truck Festival

The festival will feature 30+ of the area's top food trucks and Lamplighter Beer Garden! Held at the Central Flea in Ce...
Sunday, 11am, University Park, Cambridge

SomerStreets: Monster Mashed Up!

FREE & open to the public! There’s a Halloween theme for Somerville’s latest take on the international Open Streets con...
Sunday, 2pm, Somerville Ave - Union Square to Park St.

The Comicazi Cookie Clash: Charity Baking Competition

$10, or $5 for children under 10, gets unlimited homemade cookies, milk and coffee – and the 1966 Batmobile, reschedule... Sunday, 4pm, Comicazi, 407 Highland Ave., Somerville

Frog Pond Pumpkin Float

Bring the entire family to the 5th Annual Pumpkin Float at Frog Pond featuring floating pumpkins, luminaries and fun fa...
Friday 10/19, 5pm, Boston Common Frog Pond

54th Head Of The Charles Regatta

Join us for the 54th Head Of The Charles Regatta!
Saturday 10/20, 7:45am - 10/21, 2 Gerrys Landing Rd, Cambridge

Sounds like from last week's poll result that I'm not alone in struggling to deal with my kids' emotions. Thanks for sharing with me your thoughts and comments!

Sarah pointed out the importance of sleep and eating: "Anyone who has had not enough sleep or is hungry gets a pass." Good point!

Veera said "It's hard for my kid to share anything on emotions (she's 12) but she shows feelings, so it's hard. You want them to tell you what's up and help them process!... Like if [your son] could just be allowed to feel the hurt and pain that sometimes comes up, it might not come out as explosively... [B]oys (especially) get these messages early on that can be hard for them. "

I agree with Veera. Another friend of mine also suggested working on acceptance of feelings with my kids. I struggled with how best to do so. My daughter likes rainbows and coloring. So I thought about using that as an analogy.

This morning I told the kids there's something I want to share with them. That there are pleasant feelings like happy, excited, hopeful and unpleasant feelings like sadness, fear and anger. But just like all the different colors together make up the rainbow, our lives are also filled with all the different feelings. We wouldn't want a rainbow with only half the colors, that'll only be half a rainbow. (My kids giggled. ) Thus we also want to be able to accept both pleasant and unpleasant feelings, it's just life.

My kids seemed fine with that. Then my daughter asked, "what color is disappointment?"
"Good question," I said. I didn't have an answer. "Well, what do you think?" "Purple, I think purple." "Sounds good to me."

Later on we decided to assign colors to all the feelings. My daughter wants to go in order Red to Purple, with Red the first most important one being happy. Trying to avoid hierarchy, I said that could work or maybe Red for angry, so as in "seeing red."

My son, ever science-minded, like the latter scheme, "Yeah anger is hot-blooded. Red is good."
"How about Blue for sadness. Like I've got the blues."
We then figured Green for envy and maybe Orange for happy.

A little while later, my son walked by and said, "I feel a bit Blue." Turns out he wasn't able to do his science experiment due to lack of material.
"Aww... should we feel Blue with Brother?" I asked my daughter? "Nope, I feel Orange," my daughter said. "Well, I'm glad you feel happy, but sad your brother feels sad. Can I be both Orange and Blue?"

The kids decided yes. My son said, "and those two colors even go well together."
"Oh, you mean complementary colors. Nice!" :)

A few moms emailed me last time about joining our monthly moms' night, so we can talk about these are other parenting and life topics. Our next outing is tomorrow night. Reply back if you're interested in joining us.

And don't feel left out if you're a dad. I heard here and there about interest in a dads' night, though one said they lack a Rebecca to put it together. ;-) Let me know and I can connect you wth each other.

New Survey: I'm also interest in getting together

Moms' night
Dads' night
Other outings - please specify in a comment

Weekend Events

Oktoberfest Weekend in Harvard Square

Oktoberfest Weekend in Harvard Square featuring The 40th Annual Oktoberfest & 13th Annual HONK! Parade October 7th (R...
Friday, 12pm - Sun., Harvard Square Cambridge

HONK! Festival of Activist Street Bands

The annual festival of activist street bands in Cambridge and Somerville. With parade and performances in Harvard Squar...
Friday, 6pm - Sun., Somerville, MA

Luis de Haro's Spanish Paella class

Join us for a night of conversation, anecdotes, and overall fun, plus a detailed demonstration of the cooking of paella...
Friday, 6pm , Cambridge Center

Jack O' Lantern Journey

Opening weekend of Jack O' Lantern Journey. Come see thousands of hand-carved Jack O’ Lanterns creatively displayed in ...
Friday, 6:30pm, Franklin Park Zoo

Cambridge Celebrates Indigenous Peoples’ Day

To mark this first public celebration of Indigenous Peoples Day in Cambridge MA, Lakota hip hop artist Frank Waln will ...
Friday, 7pm, Harvard Square

Boston Mini Maker Faire

Maker Faire is the Greatest Show (and Tell) on Earth—a family-friendly festival of invention, creativity and resourcefu...
Saturday, 10am - Sun., Boston Children’s Museum

Family Day at Draper’s Annual Technology Showcase

Draper’s annual technology showcase offers attendees a chance to discover the bold solutions our diverse team of engine...
Saturday, 10am, Draper, 555 Technology Square, Cambridge

Let’s Talk About Food Festival

Join Harvard University Dining Services and Let’s Talk About Food for a fun-filled and inspiring day of cooking, demons...
Saturday, 10am, The Plaza, Cambridge

Parents' Outing: PemberFest Craft Beer Festival

PemberFest is a craft beer festival featuring beer tasting and live music. This year, we’ll have 40+ different samples ...
Saturday, 2pm , Pemberton Farms, Cambridge

Cambridge 5K - Oktoberfest

Join us for a festive German-themed 5k race that circles Kendall Square and is immediately followed by an outdoor Oktob...
Sunday, 9:30am, CambridgeSide

Final Weekend Free Ferry Day for 2018!

Hop aboard for a FREE trip to Georges or Spectacle Island! Don't miss the final weekend of 2018 ferry service to the i...
Sunday, 10am, Boston Harbor

Free Admission ICA

The ICA is offering free admission for all on Monday, October 8 – also the last day to experience the ICA Watershed (wh...
Monday, 10am, Institute of Contemporary Art, Boston

Tenth Annual Boston Book Festival

Join us in Copley Square for the tenth annual Boston Book Festival! More than 75 separate events feature nearly 300 pre...
Saturday 10/13, 10am, Copley Square

Central Square Food Truck Festival

The festival will feature 30+ of the area's top food trucks and Lamplighter Beer Garden! Held at the Central Flea in Ce...
Sunday 10/14, 11am, University Park, Cambridge

See last week's survey result. Looks like about half the folks feel they are already doing plenty of talking with their kids on race, while the other half feel they'd like to improve.

Talking to parents one-on-one over the last week, I noticed it's actually a pretty wide range, especially among fathers. Hey, maybe this is not too different from the poll on talking to spouse: men and women do show some differences.

Well, I'm gonna work on getting that parent talk on race going at my school, let me know if you wanna help. :)

This week, I'm working on helping my 4th grader better deal with anger and frustration.

He's normally a good kid happily working away on things he's interested in, a book, building his LEGO, etc. His afterschool teacher told me she could pair him up with just about anyone in the class and not worry about them getting along. Some moms have told me, you have an easy kid.

Still, some things can push his buttons, such as lack of sleep, being hungry, and things not going the way he wants. He tries to deal with it, but often is unable to quite apply his frustration tolerance skills.

Starting back in 1st grade or perhaps even earlier, there are memorable occasions when he'd cry when not getting what he wants at friends' parties -- to which, I remember one kid said, "you can't just cry about everything."

Last weekend we were playing tennis where I won a couple of games. I could see his face turning upset. I had the thought of losing the game to him but then thought better of it, and just tried to play as usual.

In just two more serves, my son's face turned and he dropped the racket and just started walking home. There's a big street on the way so I made sure he crossed it safely. And otherwise I just let him be.

When the rest of the family got home, my son's still angry and told me to "go away" when I found him in his room. Then came lunch and he had a good meal and was happy again.

He forgot about the tennis incident but not me. I've been puzzling over this and on average 1-2 outbursts a week my son's been having. And even worse, sometimes that anger is turned on himself, and comes out as "It's all my fault", "I just know it's gonna be a bad day today."

Uh, that's hard for a parent to hear.

I found a book that seems relevant: Taking the Grr out of Anger. And thought to myself, hmm maybe all of us can learn something here. I found a short short video
about the book too, and plan to watch it with the whole family (definitely easier to get my husband to watch than read. ;-)

I told my son about the book. "Oh, you're trying to help me with the book," he said.

"Yep."

"That's cool, " he answered.

Let's see. :)

New Poll

How do you feel on helping your kids with anger or frustration or other emotions?

Weekend Events

Discover Moakley Park

DISCOVER Moakley will be a full day of fun with food, beach games, skateboarding, movies, and more! This event is free ...
Saturday, 10am, Moakley Park, Boston

MIT Great Glass Pumpkin Patch

The MIT Great Glass Pumpkin Patch is an annual sale of more than 2,000 handmade glass pumpkins -- lovingly created by s...
Saturday, 10am, Kresge Oval, MIT campus

Cambridge Arts Open Studios

Join us for the 10th annual Cambridge Arts Open Studios! Cambridge Arts Open Studios is a city-wide event that celebrat...
Saturday, 12pm - Sun., Cambridge

The Berklee Beantown Jazz Festival

The Berklee Beantown Jazz Festival is Boston’s biggest block party—a free, annual, outdoor public concert that has deli...
Saturday, 12pm, Columbus Avenue, Boston

Cambridge Camping 125th Birthday

Cambridge Camping is Celebrating our 125th Birthday this Fall! Join us for a Backyard Birthday Bash celebrating the ma...
Saturday, 5pm, 10 Craigie St. Cambridge

Smoke This Rib Fest 2018

The Rib Fest is a culinary showdown pitting pit master against pit master for the title of the best ribs in town. The e...
Sunday, 12pm, East Cambridge

Draper’s Annual Technology Showcase

Draper’s annual technology showcase offers attendees a chance to discover the bold solutions our diverse team of engine...
Wednesday, 10am - 10/06, Draper, 555 Technology Square, Cambridge

HONK! Festival of Activist Street Bands

The HONK! Festival is a one-of-a-kind street spectacle of revolutionary proportions. This year marks the 13th year of o...
Friday 10/05, 6pm - 10/07, Somerville, MA

Let’s Talk About Food Festival

Join Harvard University Dining Services and Let’s Talk About Food for a fun-filled and inspiring day of cooking, demons...
Saturday 10/06, 10am, The Plaza, Cambridge

Tenth Annual Boston Book Festival

Join us in Copley Square for the tenth annual Boston Book Festival! More than 75 separate events feature nearly 300 pre...
Saturday 10/13, 10am, Copley Square

First of all, thank you! Your answers on the poll last week on keeping the house clean definitely made me feel better! And Sujen, I'm definitely planning to try out your ingenius tip. :)

I have a favor to ask, I'd love really your feedback on the Yana newsletter, to make it more hepful to you. Could you fill out this 2-question mini-poll?

Thanks so much!

Some of you ask me from time to time, how do you come up with stuff to write every week. The short answer is as a parent, life happens! Honestly, I have a backlog of topics I want to talk about. :)

I was gonna tell you about how I found my son in bed in tears with a lollipop hanging out of his mouth, but that'll have to wait...

Because on Tuesday, I found in my son's' afterschool cubby a drawing of

Asian and European Lives Matter

Uh! I felt flood of emotions: shock, disappointment, incredulous that my son attending the MLK school isn't sufficiently aware of what's happening, and embarrassment: gosh, I hope the neighboring parents picking up kids didn't just see what he wrote. :(

Apparently in couple of friends of his in the grade above him, a European-American and a Chinese American, started saying why is it always Black Lives Matter? How about everyone else? So they started drawing and a Hispanic friend and my son then joined.

We spent the next hour at dinner talking about why African American have been discriminated against and worse in America, why there's the Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement. Apparently my kids didn't quite connect slavery, civic rights movement, with ongoing discrimination, and haven't heard about police shooting of African American males.

I had thought I can leave the task of talking with my kids about race and diversity to the teachers and other trained staff, so I wouldn't misspeak. Nope! It's time for some open conversations with my kids, so they don't pick up the wrong message by my perceived silence.

I remembered from the Diversity Dialogues at our upper school that there are two ways to talk about diversity, one's focusing on oppression, while the other, more effective way is to foster pride in one's own cultural heritage and respect for that of others.

I wrote to the afterschool teacher about what happened, and was happy to hear from her that actually my son already asked to work on a project on Asian History Month to share with classmates. Maybe similar ideas for his classmates? :)

Also, there was already talk of a convo or even series on race among parents at our school, and a number of parents of all backgrounds showed support. Once I got over my embarrassment and talked to other parents about what happened, I heard back "yeah, we should talk about it, cuz the kids are already talking about it. "

In case you're interested, some of the kids' drawings:

New Poll: Talking to kids about race
If you don't mind, I've love to get your thoughts on talking to your kids about race and diversity.

Weekend Events

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Thursday, 5pm, Riverside Press Park

Girl Scout New Members Meeting

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Monday, 6:30pm, Cambridge Public Library

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Saturday 9/29, 12pm - 9/30, Cambridge

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