Happy holidays everyone!
My husband is traveling for work this week, so a bit quieter with just me and the kids.
As you may know I've been working on emotional management with my 10 year old son. Yeah, he still cries when he doesn't get what he wants, especially during dinner time, when he's probably tired from holding it together all day, or maybe it's the hangry time of the day.
His doctor told us during our appointment last week, that if he has tantrums at home and not at school, we need to look at how we're dealing with him. That there's probably a reward for him to continue such behavior. (E.g. by my husband negotiating with him, I was quick to point out, much to my husband's angry objection. ;-)
While picking up the kids, I asked my 7 year old daughter, "Do you think your brother will get upset today?"
"No. Hmm... I don't know."
Sure enough, at dinner, my son found out he will miss out on afterschool time with his friends due to a trip we planned with friends.
His eyes started turning red and his tone changed. My daughter and I glanced at each other, thinking, here we go again.
My son had some stronger words. "Well I'm not going. I can stay at home by myself. I don't want to miss hanging out with my friends; I don't care about those others. I can just eat cereal and walk to school myself."
I said "I know, it's very disappointing. We can talk about that when your dad gets back. " I punted.
"You'll be missing time with your family," my daughter pointed out. "Family is important too."
After a while my son continued eating and we had an uneventful dinner. We started talking about what we liked about our day.
My daughter said, "I'm happy that Brother calmed down faster today than before."
I was very impressed by her perceptiveness. "Yes, indeed. Good job noticing!"
I then praised my son for his better reaction. At bedtime he talked about how he's sad about missing time with his friends.
I didn't say a word. :)
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