My husband and I took a pretty awesome 10th anniversary trip, just the two of us, big thanks to my inlaws for taking our kids.
I had a goal of working on our marriage this trip. (Recall I dragged my husband to marriage counseling a couple of years ago.) I brought books on marriage and multiple list of questions on marriage for our trip.
But we ended up not using any of that. Mostly we just enjoyed seeing the sights, relaxed, and had a lot of yummy food.
What I learned on this trip: when my husband is not with the kids, he's quite considerate towards me. And when he's relaxed, he's easy going and has a lot of boyish charm. He's dynamic, high energy, loves a good laugh, and interested in exploring.
The thing to know is that my husband is very goal focused. If there's a goal, he'll execute. And he sees all the details that need to be handled, which is what makes him so good at his job.
But when he's stressed, he starts to apply pressure on everyone to execute, which in the home setting, can backfire. I can now appreciate his stress: being able to see all the details, it can no doubt be a lot weighing on him.
On most of our trips, I do a fair amount of planning and there are usually a lot of sites to see. This can really stress him out.
For this trip, we only booked the airfare and hotel. I figured we can just wing it since there are only two of us. Since there's no plan, we can do or not do, and it might be fun to do something, then he's more relaxed, which makes it more fun for both of us.
Overall, I'd like to work on reducing stress for my husband on trips and in general, so we can both be more relaxed.
I also find myself appreciating my husband more. It's not easy to drive in a foreign country. We saw literally two traffic lights on the trip, and there are tons of motorbikes and pedestrians. My husband doesn't mind the driving, and in fact enjoyed a good chunk of it. He also found some truly amazing food for us.
I had asked my husband no to spend too much time on the screens, and he's also done that, even better than me. I was more focused on getting our photos uploaded or figuring out where to go next.
Thanking my husband for the driving, the food, and the no screen and the attention, I thought, maybe just remembering to appreciate him more, things would go a lot better.
When we're back with the kids and work, whether it'll be still possible to maintain that focus and consideration on each other? I don't have an answer for that yet.
It didn't turn out like I thought, but this was a fun anniversary trip that's probably very good for our marriage. :)
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