Rainbow of emotions | Oktoberfest Harvard Sq. | HONK! Fest
Sounds like from last week's poll result that I'm not alone in struggling to deal with my kids' emotions. Thanks for sharing with me your thoughts and comments!
Sarah pointed out the importance of sleep and eating: "Anyone who has had not enough sleep or is hungry gets a pass." Good point!
Veera said "It's hard for my kid to share anything on emotions (she's 12) but she shows feelings, so it's hard. You want them to tell you what's up and help them process!... Like if [your son] could just be allowed to feel the hurt and pain that sometimes comes up, it might not come out as explosively... [B]oys (especially) get these messages early on that can be hard for them. "
I agree with Veera. Another friend of mine also suggested working on acceptance of feelings with my kids. I struggled with how best to do so. My daughter likes rainbows and coloring. So I thought about using that as an analogy.
This morning I told the kids there's something I want to share with them. That there are pleasant feelings like happy, excited, hopeful and unpleasant feelings like sadness, fear and anger. But just like all the different colors together make up the rainbow, our lives are also filled with all the different feelings. We wouldn't want a rainbow with only half the colors, that'll only be half a rainbow. (My kids giggled. ) Thus we also want to be able to accept both pleasant and unpleasant feelings, it's just life.
My kids seemed fine with that. Then my daughter asked, "what color is disappointment?"
"Good question," I said. I didn't have an answer. "Well, what do you think?"
"Purple, I think purple."
"Sounds good to me."
Later on we decided to assign colors to all the feelings. My daughter wants to go in order Red to Purple, with Red the first most important one being happy. Trying to avoid hierarchy, I said that could work or maybe Red for angry, so as in "seeing red."
My son, ever science-minded, like the latter scheme, "Yeah anger is hot-blooded. Red is good."
"How about Blue for sadness. Like I've got the blues."
We then figured Green for envy and maybe Orange for happy.
A little while later, my son walked by and said, "I feel a bit Blue." Turns out he wasn't able to do his science experiment due to lack of material.
"Aww... should we feel Blue with Brother?" I asked my daughter?
"Nope, I feel Orange," my daughter said.
"Well, I'm glad you feel happy, but sad your brother feels sad. Can I be both Orange and Blue?"
The kids decided yes. My son said, "and those two colors even go well together."
"Oh, you mean complementary colors. Nice!" :)
A few moms emailed me last time about joining our monthly moms' night, so we can talk about these are other parenting and life topics. Our next outing is tomorrow night. Reply back if you're interested in joining us.
And don't feel left out if you're a dad. I heard here and there about interest in a dads' night, though one said they lack a Rebecca to put it together. ;-) Let me know and I can connect you wth each other.
New Survey: I'm also interest in getting together
Moms' night
Dads' night
Other outings - please specify in a comment
Weekend Events
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Sunday, 10am, Boston Harbor
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Monday, 10am, Institute of Contemporary Art, Boston
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Sunday 10/14, 11am, University Park, Cambridge