How often do u talk with your spouse? Now how about one-on-one? (If that's too easy, try the harder version: how about not on logistics, and about the kids? ;-)
I tried a new experiment with my husband. We were talking about something Friday night and he mentioned he's not in the mood to talk.
So I thought, okay let's see when he'll talk to me about, well, anything.
We had a quiet weekend. I went running with my kids, then chilled, then took the kids to play some tennis and then a birthday party. My husband then went out with his buddies. Sunday, we had a nice dinner together with his family.
Then the work week started, we went about our routine. After kids went to bed, I'm often on my computer working or reading and my husband in front of the TV.
Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday...
I felt generally down for a couple of days, in turn annoyed, angry, hurt, resigned. Okay, let's see this through, I tell myself. By Monday night I was feeling better.
Finally Tuesday night, after we put the kids to bed, my husband walked by the dining table, which is where I and the kids normally do our work/homework, and mentioned to me that he thought maybe our son is becoming more sensitive: more hugging and wanting to do things with my husband.
How nice! I told him our son very much admires him. We then talked about his and my work.
Is 4 days a lot between a couple talking one-on-one? Apparently this is not that uncommon. The average couple with kids talk with each other 35 minutes a week. If you take out logistics and kids, probably even less.
There's more depressing stats. A couple that are dating will speak for 50 minutes during an hour of meal together. After 10 years of marriage, that's down to 29 minutes. But if married with young kids, 10 minutes.
Yeah, we've all been through the meals where you barely have time to manage the kids and eat.
The solution, according to WSJ and others, is for the couple to connect for 10 minutes a day. Wow, that'd be like doubling the amount we currently do! Seems well, hard.
I told my husband yesterday morning about my findings from the experiment.
"Hmm... I'll work on it," He said.
Well, it's a start. ;-)
What do you think?
My spouse and I talk too much!
My spouse and I talk just the right amount.
My spouse and I don't talk enough.
Really? you actually talk to each other?
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